cgang628
发表于 2022-11-18 17:35:05
搞笑笑话段子：小时候我淘，我爸妈老打我
<p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">小时候我淘，我爸妈老打我。一般都是“孩他爸！把门插上！”然后捉住我开打。打完就心疼：“傻孩子你咋不跑阿。。妈！！我往哪跑。。算了。你开心就好。</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">表演失败</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">大哥，以后碰见这种情况赶紧跑！</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">你这家伙也太过分了吧，没想到最后还是被拦截下来了吧？</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">小花跟隔壁老王跑了，我那一堆小鱼干</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我只想要一个这样的摩托车！</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">姐妹同心</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">这体质，在公交车上不需要人让座的吧？</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">真的吗？？、、哇哈哈哈</p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></p><p class="ql-align-center" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: center; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">编辑</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br/></p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">证婚牧师问新郎：“你是否爱新娘？”新郎答：“当然。”牧师继续问新娘是否永远跟随丈夫，不料她竟大摇其头，高声说：“他的职业是邮递员，我哪能整天跟着他到处跑呢？”</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">爸爸：“乖女儿啊，爸爸问你，世上有没有一个消息里同时包含了好消息和坏消息？”女儿：“有啊，假如说我不是你亲女儿！”</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我骑车跟一对向骑车而来的大爷差点撞上，我在离他半米的距离刹住了，大爷没刹住摔倒了，“哎呦哎呦”叫唤，我赶紧道歉。那大爷指着我喊：“我我我的腿腿腿……”完了，我感觉闯大祸了，怎么办？急智之下，我赶紧倒下，捂着肚子叫道：“哎呦我的孩子……”那大爷火了：“你你你不是个男的吗？我我我只是有点结结结巴……我我我的脚压着了，你你你帮忙扶我我起来啊！”</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">小美失恋了，电话里和我哭哭啼啼一通之后，说了一句闹心便挂了电话。知道她没心没肺、顺口胡诌的劲儿，我也没多想，心里寻思着去安慰一下吧，便打车去小美家。到了她家，开门后(注：我俩互相有对方家里的钥匙) ，竟看见小美坐在客厅里表情凝重的在鼓弄一条小麻绳。我猛冲过去一把夺下摔在地上，大喊：“不就失恋了吗？有什么大不了的！男人不有的是，你用的着要上吊么？”小美抬起头，诧异的看着我：“姐，我就是从网上看了一个用麻绳做坐垫的教程，想编个坐垫而已！”我……特么你要吓死老娘了！</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">早上醒来，想上厕所，又不想动，就对丈夫撒娇：你抱我去嘛！丈夫无奈地把我抱到卫生间，回来时发现女儿醒了。忙把我放床上，问女儿：怎么这么早醒，想去卫生间吗？爸爸抱你去。女儿吭哧吭哧爬下床，斜眼瞄了我一眼：我自己会去！</p><p class="ql-align-justify" style="border: 0px; margin-top: 0.63em; margin-bottom: 1.8em; padding: 0px; counter-reset: list-1 0 list-2 0 list-3 0 list-4 0 list-5 0 list-6 0 list-7 0 list-8 0 list-9 0; text-align: justify; color: rgb(25, 25, 25); font-family: PingFang SC, Arial, 微软雅黑, 宋体, simsun, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">（以上图片均来源于网络，如有侵权联系即删）</p><p><br/></p><link rel="stylesheet" href="//www.shidaomedia.com/source/plugin/wcn_editor/public/wcn_editor_fit.css?v134_YZl" id="wcn_editor_css"/>
灵魂爱楚
发表于 2022-11-24 06:40:45
妈妈问我有男朋友了么,我说没有,妈妈说：这个可以有,我说：这个真没有……
gooz
发表于 2022-11-26 15:25:04
我允许你走进我的世界,但不许你在我的世界里走来走去。
qq997264988
发表于 2022-12-4 05:14:29
纵你阅人何其多，无人应似我。
猫街少女梦
发表于 2022-12-6 04:16:42
我允许你走进我的世界,但不许你在我的世界里走来走去。
胆小老爷们
发表于 2022-12-20 16:22:15
远方成了苟且，你是我眼前的诗。
许上
发表于 2022-12-28 11:37:20
人生在世，还不是有时笑笑人家，有时给人家笑笑。
落花酱酱
发表于 2023-1-8 18:11:24
为天地立心，为生民立命，为往圣继绝学，为万世开太平。
m衣仁ai
发表于 2023-1-22 16:20:31
助人为乐是快乐之本
你的吻是暗涌
发表于 2023-1-22 19:11:25
希望你拼命争取的，最后都能如你所愿。
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