蓝眼睛2222
发表于 2022-11-25 16:12:37
被原生家庭毁掉的孩子，从出生起就在赎罪
<p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">在知乎上，有这么一个问题：<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">原生家庭对一个人的影响能有多大？</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">获赞第一的回答里，写了这么一段话：</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">不好的原生家庭，孩子犹如在黑夜中独自前行。他选择了所有他认为最正确的决定，却不知道，有些年纪所以为的正确，因为无人引导，放到整个人生来看，是多么悲伤，而且残忍。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">相信每个人或多或少都受到过原生家庭的影响，我也不例外。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">曾经的我，因为父亲的影响，在很长一段时间里，自卑、懦弱、自我否定，各种绝望的情绪将我折磨得疲惫不堪。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">被诊断为双相情感障碍之后，我终于意识到，我很难遏止住自己内心的巨大黑洞。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">于是，为了寻回自己，为了拯救自己，我鼓起勇气走进了心理咨询室。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">如今回首，我想把我的故事记录下来分享给你，希望可以给更多同样处在原生家庭困境中的你们，带去一点光亮：</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">只有敢于冲破原生家庭的枷锁，才有可能奔向自己期望的未来。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></span></p><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">01</span></h1><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">我的父亲</span></h1><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">亲手摧毁了这个家庭</span></h1><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">“我特别恨我的爸爸。”</span>第一次见到咨询师时，我是这么对她说的。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我的爸爸待人温和，在外永远是谦谦君子。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但多年过去，我仍然记得那一天，也是我这辈子永远不会忘记的一天。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我九岁那年的一天，他抓着一根长长的木棍，往我妈身上一次又一次地砸，问她把钱存到哪里去了。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">看着眼前的场景，一股怒气直冲脑门，我抄起一把剪刀，指着他：“你要是再动手，我就捅死你。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">他显然有点错愕，然后放下了木棍。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">从那天起，他真的没有打过我妈，但也对家庭的任何事情失去了所有兴趣。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">在这20多年里，他有过很多爱好，喜欢看球，喜欢喝酒，现在老了就喜欢读读书，养养花，看上去也像个文人雅士。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">但他几乎从不担负任何责任。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">读书时，上下学是我妈在接我，补习是我妈在掏钱，补习老师是姑姑帮忙找。而他除了交过几次义务教育的学费，其余什么都没做过。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">他仿佛在向这个家庭示威，他自己赚的钱自己花，家里的事不归他管。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">有阵子家里吃紧，他躺在床上，翘着二郎腿对我妈说，“你怎么不去做卫生工呢？很赚钱的。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我看着他，心里很不爽：“那你怎么不去？”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">他说：“我有正经工作的呀。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">是啊，你有工作，一周只上三个上午班的“正经工作”。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">记得那时候奶奶常常对我说，<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">爸爸其实很爱我，我是他唯一的软肋。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">一开始我也曾天真地相信，爸爸或许真的如同奶奶嘴里说的那样。可是后来我逐渐明白，爱一个人，要么得有行动，要么得有语言。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">可他什么都没有，谈什么爱呢。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">而受到爸爸的影响，我也并不一帆风顺。与原生家庭并行的，是艰难的成长。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">随着我一天天长大，我开始越发讨厌自己。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">讨厌没能力的自己；</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">讨厌每天不自律的自己；</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">讨厌同一件事情几遍都做不好的自己；</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">更讨厌长得不好看的自己。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">自卑、懦弱、自我否定，这些由原生家庭带来的负面情绪，深深地刻在我的内心。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">一天又一天过去，积攒的情绪无处排解，我觉得心里有种窒息的感觉，逐渐把我压垮。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">就像一块巨大的石头，只用细细的线吊住，旁边还有把刀正在一点一点地割断这根线。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">而爸爸对我而言，就是那把刀。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">直到被诊断为双相情感障碍的那一刻，我终于意识到，我的内心出现了一个大洞，不断向我发出求助信息。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">于是，我在网上预约了心理咨询。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></span></p><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">02</span></h1><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">所有人都叫我体谅父亲</span></h1><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">可又有谁来体谅我？</span></h1><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">记得咨询刚开始的时候，我还是挺讲“孝顺”的。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">在一次对话中，我和咨询师聊到，我最早的记忆，是我幼儿园的时候。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">上美术课，我认真画了一幅画，兴冲冲地交给老师，却被另一名强壮的男同学丢到地上踩，灰色的脚印变成了擦不掉的伤疤。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">气不过的我和他打了一架，虽然没打过，但我却觉得自己很勇敢，为保护自己的画受点伤不算什么。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">放学后，妈妈来接我回家，我对她说了这件事。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我本以为妈妈会安慰我，没想到她却说：“你这孩子，口才不行，打架也打不过别人，这辈子也不会有什么出息了。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但那时候的我还小，直到读高中的时候，我自学了心理学。我才知道孩子是怎么从一张白纸变成一个活生生的人，也知道了父母最初几句不经意的评判，会在一个人的人生中形成怎样的影响。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">我并不怪罪我的父母，反而常常强迫自己思考，如果有一天我也成为了父母，我会怎么做呢？我就能保证自己不会说一句伤害孩子的话吗？</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">当我把这些和我的咨询师和盘托出的时候，她说，不知怎么的，我有些心疼你。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我懂她的意思，毕竟做了这么久咨询，我和她已经有了些默契。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我知道，她并不是在心疼我儿时的经历，而是在心疼我总是强迫自己反省，强迫自己理解父母，即使明明我才是受伤害的那个。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">记得在另一次咨询中，我对咨询师说，“其实我也不怪他们，我也听爷爷奶奶说过我爸的成长历程，那不是一个好的环境。他虽然对我不好，但这并不是他的错。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我一直在想象，如果那些人都不在了，我爷爷奶奶去世了，我姑姑也退休了，没有跟我们住在一起，我爸爸或许会跟现在不一样。他可能会活出智慧的样子，他的眼里可能是有光的，也可能是爱我的。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">他一辈子，从小到大都被排挤被打压，如果这些打压的力量都不在了，他一定有一个不同的样子......”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但话没说完，咨询师就打断了我。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">她对我说，“你别想这些。你越这样说，我只会越觉得你活得很累，很难过。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我呆了呆，没想到她会这么说。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但咨询师没有停止，“正是因为你意识不到自己的行为，永远为父母考虑，永远遵守规范，所以你今天才会坐在这里。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">因为低落，因为抑郁。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我被堵得哑口无言，找不到任何反驳的地方，“难道要我去怨恨他们吗？他们也没做错什么啊。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">她看了看我，“可是你也没有做错什么。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">听到这句话的那一瞬间，我的心里像是被重锤重重地敲了一下。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">是啊，我明明也没有做错什么，所有人都叫我体谅爸爸的难处，但谁又能来体谅一下我的呢？</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我突然明白了，我为什么会那么恨他。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">小时候，看到他家暴妈妈的那一刻起，我就开始觉得他无能懦弱，有气只会往老婆身上撒。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但一直以来，我都没有勇气去站出来反抗、反驳他，如果不是在咨询师面前，我甚至连“怨恨”都不敢有。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我痛恨自己的无能懦弱，所以当这份情绪投射到他身上时，也格外愤怒。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但我从没意识到。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">后来，我写了一篇文章，说，去怨恨吧，当你学会用怨恨消解掉那些枷锁和桎梏，你才有力气走向新的未来。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></p><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">03</span></h1><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">当我开始“怨恨”父亲</span></h1><h1 style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.5; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">我终于成为了更好的自己</span></h1><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">很奇妙的是，当我开始“怨恨”以后，生活却发生了一些肉眼可见的变化。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">第一次，我学会了释放自己的情绪，学会了去拒绝我的原生家庭，也学会了直截了当说出自己的不满。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">这个改变并不容易。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我还记得我这么多年来第一次发脾气的场景。当时，家里一直认为我花钱大手大脚，但实际并不是这样。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">于是，在爸爸又一次责怪我时，我忍无可忍，愤怒地说道：“我自己赚的钱，我自己花不是很正常吗？而且我也有做了账，我哪里乱花钱了？”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">第一次见到儿子那么“叛逆”，我的爸爸很不适应。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">他整了整那污糟的领结，对我说，“你对我尊重一点，我是你的爸爸。”</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">我承认，那一刻我有点窒息。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但我没有退缩，而是鼓起勇气，反复多次地重复强调，抱着严肃认真的态度。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">慢慢地，他似乎是被我震慑到了，开始退缩，没有再反驳。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">当我把积压的所有愤怒和不满都吐出来，我的内心如释重负，原来也没这么难啊。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> </span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">而改变，往往就是在这样的一小步中开始的。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">后来，我越来越敢于表达自己的情绪，开始拒绝那些我不认同的观点。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">虽然我并不觉得自己一定成为了一个更好的人，但我知道我一定成为了一个更真诚的人，一个更完整的人。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">慢慢地，我变得不再讨厌自己，我逐渐能接受自己的不完美，不去用别人来做自己的度量衡。我也找到了自己爱的人，和父母的相处模式也在慢慢改善。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">而这一切，在心理咨询之前，我从没觉得能这么轻松过。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;"/></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">如今，我的心里越来越相信，只有学会去拒绝什么，告别什么，才会懂得接受什么，重新获得什么。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">在未来的日子里，我会试着去理解我的父亲，去接受他的不完美，理解他的成长同样充满艰辛和挫折，同样不尽如人意。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">但我也会去否定他，否定那些我不认同的部分，坚守自己内心的底线，再去尝试着和他一起把每件事情做好。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><blockquote style="margin: 8px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 16px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; border-left: 4px solid rgb(153, 153, 153); color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;">我特别喜欢夏布多里昂的一句话，“每个人都拖带着一个世界，由他见过，爱过所组成的一个世界，即便他ta看上去像是在一个完全不同的世界里旅行，仍不断地回到ta所拖带的那个世界里去。”</p></blockquote><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">感谢多年前的那段心理咨询经历，让我得到了新的力量。而现在，我也终于要去那个完全不同的世界里旅行和探索了。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">那些不开心的事，无论是来自生活，工作或感情，该翻页的时候就翻页，该看淡的时候就看淡，别让失意的阴霾掩盖了自己想追求的幸福。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">如果你现在还做不到，那你也可以像我一样，寻求心理咨询的帮助。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">人生的每一个决定，看似只是一小步，背后却可能潜藏着巨大的力量。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> </p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); font-family: tahoma, arial, sans-serif; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1; font-weight: 700 !important; font-size: inherit !important;">所以<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; zoom: 1;">当你认为，你有能力改变自己，只需勇敢踏前一步，可能幸福就近在眼前。</span></span></p><p><br/></p><link rel="stylesheet" href="//www.shidaomedia.com/source/plugin/wcn_editor/public/wcn_editor_fit.css?v134_FaA" id="wcn_editor_css"/>
yuanyuan10
发表于 2022-11-27 04:48:04
铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。
821939233
发表于 2022-12-4 04:24:20
看完了这么强的文章，我想说点什么，但是又不知道说什么好，想来想去只想
风一样的少女
发表于 2022-12-5 13:43:17
我不为楼主这样的标题所吸引，也不是被帖子的内容所迷惑。我不是来抢沙发的，也不是来打酱油的。我不是为楼主呐喊加油的，也不是对楼主进行围堵攻击的。我只是为了每天30帖默默奋斗。你是个美女，我毫不关心，你是个怪兽，我决不在意；你是个帅哥，我不会妒忌，你是个畜男，我也不会PS。你的情操再怎么高尚，我也不会赞美，你的道德如何沦丧，我也不为所动。在这个处处都要验证码的时代，不得不弄个牛B的数字来显眼，于是我抄下了这段话，专门用来回帖，好让我每天有固定的积分收入
虚伪了的真心
发表于 2022-12-7 09:23:48
精彩的文章，甚是精彩
快乐女孩123
发表于 2022-12-17 18:42:47
风吹着空旷的夜也吹着我，风吹着未来也吹着过去，我成为某个人，某间点着油灯的陋室。
cao1
发表于 2022-12-21 00:34:23
往往是相爱的人爱闹意见，反而是不相干的人能互相容忍。
暗流涌动1
发表于 2022-12-22 05:21:24
情书寄给山鬼，心事寄予西风，可惜山鬼不懂字，西风往东吹。
周承云哈哈
发表于 2022-12-25 01:20:13
别像猫一样风雨中长大遇到点爱就以为是家。
yanyouoh77
发表于 2023-1-11 03:05:36
高手在民间
页:
[1]
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10