My secret to being happy every day is this: no brain.
2、之前立誓要戒酒,再饮酒就是狗,后来又立誓要早睡,再熬夜就是猪,看来今后是人的日子就越来越少了。
Before swear to stop drinking, and then drink is a dog, and then swear to go to bed early, and then stay up late is a pig, it seems that the future is less and less peoples days.
3、我身上最少有百分之二十的肉,都是靠“不能浪费”这四个字带来的。
At least 20 percent of my body is made up of these two words: Dont waste it.
4、明天学会了一句拒绝人的话:“要不这样,你就当我死了吧。”
Today I learned a word of refusal: otherwise, you treat me as dead.
5、当了人类想羽化,生在地上想上天。
When human beings want to become immortal, born on the earth to think of heaven.
6、翻开钱包,发现没钱,可仍然感觉很高兴,由于我最少有个钱包,而钱包它啥也没有。
I open my wallet and find no money, but Im still happy because at least I have a wallet and a wallet has nothing.
7、支持我人生进步多四大期盼:等放工,等周五,等发人为,等快递。
Support my life forward many four expectations: wait for work, wait for Friday, wait for pay, wait for delivery.
8、今后有话直说,不要总是在吗在吗,不出意外的话,几十年内我都是在。
In the future, speak out. Dont always be there. If nothing happens, I will be there for decades.
9、招蜂引蝶的技术我是没有,招蚊子我却是一流。
I do not have the skills to attract bees and butterflies, but I am first-class to recruit mosquitoes.
10、每年炎天,会在我耳边悄悄唱歌,喜好我的精神,还会送我包包的,就只剩下蚊子了。
Every summer, will sing gently in my ears, like my body, will also send me bags, only the mosquito.
11、比起穷这个弱点,我的丑简直何足道哉。
Compared with this shortcoming, my ugliness is nothing to mention.
Self introduction: interest is to play, weight is fat, IQ is stupid, personality is lazy, love is to eat, professional is to sleep, appearance is ugly, economic strength is poor, the object is mobile phone.