滑稽诙谐的文案｜招蜂引蝶的技术没有，招蚊子我却是一流

能不能给我发一毛钱，省得我们今后一毛钱关系都没有。

Can you just give me a dime so we dont have a dime to lose?

吾日三省吾身：早上吃什么？午时吃什么？早晨吃什么？

I examine myself three times a day: What do I eat in the morning? Whats for lunch? Whats for dinner?

唉，心情欠好，就想干点不是人干的事。

Alas, the mood is bad, want to do something that is not a person to do.

人最怕的就是忽然收缩，精神上会让人落空明智，精神上会落空锁骨、腰窝、蝴蝶骨和尖下巴等。

What people fear most is sudden expansion, which will make people lose their mind mentally, and lose their collarbone, waist, butterfly bone and pointed chin physically.

年老一定不会分开你，就像数学题，说不会就不会。

Big brother will not leave you, just like math problem, said no will not.

什么叫在所不辞？大要就是天天被气死一万次，但仍然不能告退。

What do you mean youre gonna die? Maybe 10,000 times a day, and still cant quit.

招蜂引蝶的技术没有，招蚊子我却是一流的。

I dont have the skills to attract butterflies, but I have the skills to attract mosquitoes.

你们在家捂白了一个色号，我在家吃大了一个尺码，我们都有光亮的未来。

You cover a white color at home, I eat a size bigger at home, we all have a bright future.

实在的勇士勇于直面银行卡上的余额，勇于重视磅秤上的数字。

True warriors face the balance on their bank cards and the number on their scales.

今后再有人向你搬弄说 “有本事来咬我呀！”， 你就告诉他/她， “我不能咬你，究竟虎毒不食子。”

Later, someone will challenge you and say, Bite me if you dare! , you tell him or her, I cant bite you, after all, tigers cant eat children.

图片来历收集，侵权联删。

当你身边有个疼爱你的人，哭才有点意思。

怎么才能让我对象无意间看见这个帖子！

看完了这么强的文章，我想说点什么，但是又不知道说什么好，想来想去只想

我是个俗气至顶的人，见山是山，见海是海，见花便是花。唯独见了你，云海开始翻涌，江潮开始澎湃，昆虫的小触须挠着全世界的痒。你无需开口，我和天地万物便通通奔向你。

一腔孤勇（现在的状态吧）

我非夏日何须畏，君似清风不肯来。

助人为乐是快乐之本

走时满身月，归时漫天星。

如果有一天，你穿上西服，成为别人的新郎，我闭口不提，曾经的疯狂。如果有一天，我穿上婚纱，成为别人的新娘，嫁给你，依然是我最初的梦想。